Friday, May 13, 2011

Middle East again

I was taken to the Middle East and my children were taken from me.  I was in a large tent with many Arabic men.  They proceeded to rape me one by one, then, in a game they decided what tortures to do to me.  First they decided to throw acid on me, and then to brand me hot pokers from the fire.  The pain, the humiliation, the raw fear, and defeat all hit me, not just the me in my dream.  I woke up crying.  I'm not sure if I started calling out before or after I awoke.

Neck pain nightmare I

I had a dream last night I was at my rheumatologist's office crying.  I was in intense pain and begging my doctor to help me.  I asked her to do anything to stop the pain.  I told her she could knock me out, crank my neck, cut me open, I didn't care, just make the pain stop.  She said she couldn't do anything.  I begged her to send me to a doctor who could.  I asked her if I needed to see a doctor about possible Chiari or if I have a neck problem [that my physical therapist couldn't feel].  I told her to send me anywhere, do anything, please make the pain stop.  She just kept repeating over and over that she couldn't do anything.

Sunday, March 27, 2011


Last night I dreamt I was being skinned alive.  They started at my stomach, where they could grab some loser skin, and they pulled tight, skinning me as I screamed.

This is a theme that often shows up in my dreams.  I think last night the dream was made worse because I am out of one medication (Lamictal).

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Painful nightmare

His foot was on my back between my should blades, and he pressed down hard.  I was in a tent with a militant Islamic man training a gun at my head.  I could taste the dust on the ground.  I could hear foreign tongues that I could not understand.  We were in the Middle East and I had been captured by militant terrorists.  Then the man said, and I understood, "You will have every type of physical pain possible [in your life.]"  I woke up in excruciating pain.